Hey bigshot—are you ready to make a change? Are you ready for a new, exciting city full of life and wonder? Are you ready to move to the best city in the United States? That’s great! There are plenty of amazing, trendy cities ready for you to call home.

Unfortunately, you can’t afford any of them.

You can, however, afford any one of these B-string American cities. Read on to discover the Most OK Cities in the U.S., because let’s face it, at a certain point you have to be realistic about your options.

5. Springfield, Missouri

Look, it’s affordable, ok? And it technically counts as a city. You can rent a 2 bedroom here without selling a kidney, and that’s the American dream, right? It’s got that famous Springfield cashew chicken, which tastes…fine. And if you can ever splurge on a vacation, Branson isn’t that far away.

Did you just vomit in your mouth a little? Don’t be judgy. Judging is for people who can afford to not have roommates.

4. St. Cloud, Minnesota

Yeah, it’s cold. But Aunt Jan is close by in Minneapolis, so that’s nice. And maybe it’ll snow on Christmas. That would be nice. It’s not glamorous, but at your high school reunion you can just say you live in Minneapolis to salvage your dignity.

Are you crying? Why are you crying It’s not that bad. Stop crying.

3. Hickory, North Carolina

You always dreamed of living in a beach town. And Hickory is only a few hours from the lovely east coast!

Ok, it’s a full day.

But it’s basically part of the Triangle! Craft beer and tech jobs!

Ok, it’s not the Triangle.

But it’s close to the mountains! On the weekends you can hike. Yeah, you’re definitely going to start spending weekends hiking.

Ok, that’s not going to happen. But you can always stare out the window and fantasize, which is as good as the real thing.

2. Bozeman, Montana

When your Wi-Fi goes out, you’ll just step outside and enjoy a beautiful mountain vista—technology is overrated anyway. Sure, it’s so far away from literally anyone that you’ll have to shell out for a plane ticket home if you ever want to feel the touch of another human being ever again. But at least it’s so spread out that your neighbors can’t hear you crying into your canned tomato soup at dinner.

Hey, stop that—don’t Google the suicide rate. It doesn’t matter. Close that tab. It’s lovely here. Everyone loves it here.

1. Right Exactly Where You Are

Moving is expensive. You can’t afford that. And you really think you could just find a new job that easily? Nope. The best place for you is right where you are. Where you have been. And where you’ll always be. You’re going to die here. And it will be just ok.