Life insurance is a common workplace benefit and offers peace of mind to those worried about leaving their loved ones financially secure. Designating a beneficiary is an important decision. The beneficiary of your life insurance will receive a financial payout upon your death.

To help you navigate this decision, the Traffic Jam consulted with industry experts to identify the five worst people to designate as your beneficiary. Do not, under any circumstances, allow these people to financially benefit from your death.

5. Your Ex

The problem with designating your ex as your life insurance beneficiary is that you don’t want to give them even more reason to be happy that you died. Your ex is the most likely person to be praying on your downfall and is the most likely person to celebrate your death. Don’t let them have the last laugh by also giving them thousands of dollars after you pass.

4. Cooter’s Cousin, Butt Sweat Jimmy

Our sports reporter, Cooter Keegan, brought his cousin Butt Sweat Jimmy to the office Christmas party last year and he was weird as hell. Butt Sweat Jimmy was on Cooter’s college bowling team and is currently serving jail time for murdering an optometrist and stealing a bunch of Viagra. Not even Cooter will put Butt Sweat Jimmy down as his beneficiary.

3. A Baby

What’s a baby going to do with fifty thousand dollars? It just doesn’t make sense.

2. The KKK

I shouldn’t have to say this, but I want to cover all my bases just to be safe. Don’t leave any, ANY money to a racist hate group. “Thanks, Captain Obvious,” you say, but I was asked to detail the worst beneficiary choices, and they’re the definition of a bad choice. Additionally, don’t leave it to the Westboro Baptist Church. Or ISIS.

1. My Brother

T.J. is a great guy, really, but it makes much more sense to designate me as your life insurance beneficiary. I’m not trying to pressure you or reopen this conversation, Mom, but think about it. T.J. has a stable job in orthopedics. I’m working at an internet newspaper that doesn’t even offer life insurance as a benefit. T.J.’s kids will be able to get scholarships for college, they’ll be fine. If you ever want grandkids from me, however, I’m going to need that payout. Make the right choice.