People keep talking about the offensive failures of the Kansas City Chiefs, who won back-to-back Superbowls in 2023 and 2024 before being ripped apart by the Philadelphia Eagles in 2025. Andy Reid and his team are off to a rocky start in the 2025-2026 season, so maybe it’s time to talk about changes that they can make, particularly when it comes to their offensiveness.
Washington’s football team used to be called something that was pretty dang hurtful to Native Americans. I was talking to some folks in Kansas City, and apparently the name “Chiefs” is also super uncool, and their use of Native American imagery as mascots is also super uncool.
To help out, I did some research to find a better name for the team!
I had a great time visiting Kansas City. I ate a lot of barbeque and enjoyed some really good steak. Kansas City has a special cut of steak, the Kansas City strip steak. Isn’t that neat? It’s really tasty.
This meat is something that the city is really proud of. Who doesn’t love grilling some nice meat? Since this is a unifying part of Kansas City culture, I propose that the Kansas City Chiefs change their name to the Kansas City Strippers.
It honors the true heritage of Kansas City and also advertises the local food industry. What’s not to love? Think about it! Isn’t it so much better to be able to say “Taylor Swift Weds Kansas City Stripper” than something that causes grief to a lot of people? I would proudly wear a red shirt declaring “God Bless Strippers.” Who wouldn’t?
Sports are about bringing people together. Everyone should be able to relax and watch men play with balls. It bums me out to know that something that should be fun makes Native Americans feel left out. However, I don’t doubt that we can all be united in support of Strippers!
I plan to send this idea to Andy Reid to see if he likes it. If anyone knows how to contact him, please send it to me at cooter.keegan3@the-traffic-jam.com.
Editor’s note: As of 9/14/25, we have disabled the above email due to the influx of negative messages to Cooter Keegan. Please stop sending Mr. Keegan pictures of your middle fingers and genitals. It’s making him sad.
Cooter Keegan
Cooter Keegan gave up a promising career in professional bowling to pursue a less promising career in professional tennis. He now lives on the road as he dutifully covers all things sports for the Traffic Jam.
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